As You Like In In Plain and Simple English (Digital Download)
PURCHASE A COPY OF AS YOU LIKE IT IN PLAIN AND SIMPLE ENGLISH NOW! Do you need to understand Shakespeare and want something more interactive? Try our free app, SwipeSpeare! MODERN AS YOU LIKE IT PLOT SUMMARY As You Like It begins with the introduction of Orlando, the middle son of recently deceased Sir Rowland. Orlando is talking with his elderly servant, Adam, about how his brother has denied him proper education and treats him like a servant. When Oliver appears, the two brothers enter into a disagreement, and Oliver swears never to give him his inheritance. The Duke's wrestler, Charles, meets with Oliver. Orlando has decided to enter the tournament, and Charles is hesitant about fighting him. Oliver convinces Charles that Orlando is a dishonest man and deserves a beating, and connives to make sure Orlando fights. At the Duke's palace, Rosalind and Celia are talking. Duke Frederick has banished his older brother, Duke Senior, and his supporters from the kingdom, stealing his dukedom in the process. Duke Frederick has allowed Rosalind, Duke Senior's daughter, to stay because of Celia's love for her. Rosalind is depressed at her situation, and Celia is trying to cheer her up. It is the day of the wrestling match, and the girls' conversation is interrupted by Orlando and Charles' fight. They try to convince Orlando not to fight because of his youth, but Orlando bravely defeats Charles. Rosalind and Orlando fall madly in love at first sight. When Duke Frederick finds out Orlando's identity, he enters a foul mood, for his father was a supporter of Duke Senior. Orlando flees the palace. Duke Frederick has a sudden change of heart and banishes Rosalind from the land. Celia decides to run away with Rosalind, and they take Touchstone, the court jester, with them. Rosalind disguises herself as a man and calls herself Ganymede, and Celia becomes a peasant woman named Aliena.In the forest, Duke Senior is enjoying the simplicity of life in nature. He talks with his servant Amiens, and other Lords. He wants to find his friend Jaques, who is often melancholy. Back at the palace, Duke Frederick has discovered his daughter's disappearance. Angry, he demands that she be found.Orlando has gone back home, only to be warned by Adam that his brother Oliver plots to kill him. Adam urges him to flee and offers to go with him. He has some money, and they set out towards the forest.Meanwhile, Rosalind and Celia (in disguise) have reached the forest of Arden. They come across two shepherds Silvius and Corin. Silvius is lovesick over a woman who disdains him, and Corin is a shepherd at a nearby cottage. Rosalind and Celia buy the cottage and decide to live there.In the forest, Amiens has found Jaques, who is indeed melancholy. Amiens sings a song, and Jaques philosophizes about life. Orlando and Adam have also entered the forest, but Adam is weak from hunger. Orlando leaves him to go and find food. He finds Duke Senior and his lords getting ready to feast and brandishes his sword on them. They are polite and give him plenty of food for his elderly servant and Duke Senior takes them in.Back at the palace, Duke Frederick has found out about Orlando's disappearance and thinks he is responsible for Celia's departure. He orders Oliver to find Orlando at any cost.Orlando is spending his time in the forest writing poems about Rosalind and hanging them on trees. Rosalind and Celia find some of these poems, and Rosalind is excited when she finds out Orlando wrote them. She decides to approach Orlando in her disguise as a young man in order to "cure" him of his lovesickness. Orlando agrees to treat Ganymede as if he were Rosalind, and woo him.Touchstone meets a homely goatherd named Audrey, and they plan to be married. Jaques follows them and crashes their ceremony before it can be completed. Silvius begs Phebe to love him, but Phebe responds cruelly. Overhearing the exchange, Rosalind intervenes, scorning Phebe. Phebe falls in love with Ganymede and decides to write him a letter.Orlando is late for his first appointment, and Rosalind is angry. However, they go ahead with the lesson, with Rosalind dispelling many of Orlando's unrealistic expectations of love. Celia becomes angry with Rosalind and accuses her of being unfair to her own sex. Orlando is also late for his second appointment, and while Rosalind is waiting Silvius arrives with a love letter from Phebe. Rosalind turns her down, and Oliver approaches. Apparently, on Orlando's way back to Rosalind he saw Oliver sleeping, about to be killed by a lioness. Orlando saved Oliver, and the two were reunited. In the fight, Orlando was injured and could not make the appointment, sending Oliver to tell Rosalind. Hearing this, Rosalind faints.During this meeting, Oliver and Celia fell madly in love, and Oliver tells Orlando that they plan to marry the next day. Rosalind as Ganymede arrives, and Orlando reveals that he can no longer be satisfied by pretending. She promises to have the "real" Rosalind to him the following day so they can marry. Silvius and Phebe arrive, and they characters express the anguish of love. Phebe promises to marry Ganymede the next day, and, if not, to accept Silvius.The day of the wedding arrives. Ganymede and Aliena meet Duke Senior, Orlando, and others. Rosalind makes sure that the others will keep their promises: the Duke will give his daughter to Orlando, Orlando will marry Rosalind, Phebe will either marry Ganymede or Silvius, and Silvius will still accept Phebe. Ganymede leaves, and Touchstone and Audrey arrive. They plan to be married, as well. Rosalind, in women's dress, comes back with Hymen, the God of marriage. The four couples are married. In the middle of the ceremony, the youngest son of Sir Rowland arrives with news that Duke Frederick has converted to religion and is allowing all those exiled to return. Everyone is overjoyed, and they dance in celebration.After the dance, everyone leaves the stage but Rosalind. Rosalind admits it is not customary for a woman to give the epilogue, but she entreats the men and women to like as much of the play as they want and to give generous applause. MODERN AS YOU LIKE IT CHARACTER ANALYSIS RosalindThe most obvious choice for protagonist in the play, Rosalind is Duke Senior's beautiful, intelligent daughter. She falls in love with Orlando and eventually meets him as her disguised male-counterpart Ganymede. Witty and unexpected, Rosalind is often breaking convention. Out of all the characters in the play, she alone seems to have a grasp on what it means to have a real, true love, instead of the overly romantic convention. Keeping to her character, Rosalind also delivers the epilogue of the play, which was unusual in Shakespeare's time.CeliaRosalind's cousin and Duke Frederick's daughter, Celia loves Rosalind more than anything. She is willing to give up her inheritance for Rosalind's sake, and willingly leaves her palace to follow Rosalind into the forest. Witty and smart, Celia nevertheless spends most of the play following Rosalind's lead. Many times, she does not understand her cousin's actions. She falls in love with Oliver the first time she sees him, and they are married at the end of the play.OrlandoSir Rowland's middle son who has been treated badly by his older brother, Oliver. Enraged at his being treated like a servant, Orlando sets out to change his fate. He signs up for the wrestling tournament where he meets Rosalind and is immediately smitten. After he escapes to the forest, he spends his days writing poems about Rosalind and hanging them on trees. The most die-hard romantic in As You Like It, Orlando takes lessons from Ganymede that teach him how to love in a more balanced way.OliverOrlando's older brother, Oliver is the heir of his father's estate. Out of spite for his well-loved brother, Oliver denies him an education and his other rights as the son of a noble, treating him like a peasant. He plots to kill Orlando, and when that fails goes to the forest to find him. When he is saved by Orlando in the forest, he undergoes a dramatic transformation, renouncing all his old ways. When he falls in love with Celia, he also vows to give Orlando the entire inheritance and live the rest of his life as a shepherd.AdamAdam is he loyal, elderly servant of the Rowland house. He sympathizes with Orlando in his plight, and escapes with him into the forest when he finds out how wicked Oliver has become. Although he is elderly, he is intensely loyal and is willing to give up the last of his money and the last of his years to remain with Orlando. Orlando, in turn, repays his kindness by taking care of him.Duke FrederickDuke Senior's younger brother, Duke Frederick stole his throne and exiled him from the city. Although he loves his daughter, he dislikes Rosalind and believes that the people love her too much. When he finds out Celia is missing, he orders everyone to stop at nothing in order to find her. Although he does not appear in the majority of the play, a messenger at the end relates that he came across a religious old man on his way to make war with Duke Senior and underwent a religious conversion, restoring all those exiled.Duke SeniorWhere his brother is malcontent and unpleasant, Duke Senior is amiable and happy. Although exiled, he makes the best of his situation and lives a carefree "Robin Hood" lifestyle in the Forest of Arden. He enjoys discussions, food and music in plenty, and takes in all those who come to his table. At the end of the play, he gladly gives Rosalind up to marry Orlando and makes sure the celebrations are complete.JaquesJaques is one of Duke Senior's camp followers. He is an Englishman who has traveled the world and claims it has left him melancholy. Seemingly allergic to all things happy, he revels in misery and enjoys sadness. He spends his time philosophizing about the nature of the world, although, compared to other characters such as Touchstone and Rosalind, his observations seem contrite. He is the only character who chooses not to go back to the city at the end of the play.AmiensOne of Duke Senior's loyal servants, Amiens is usually by Duke Senior's side. He is the token song-singer of the play and is often asked to sing a tune.TouchstoneThe court jester who went to the Forest of Arden along with Rosalind and Celia. Unlike the women, Touchstone did not don a disguise but remains a fool until the very end of the play. He spends his time wandering around the forest, talking to different characters about anything and everything. Eventually, he decides he wants to marry Audrey, an ordinary goat herder.AudreyThe peasant goat herder that Touchstone marries. Audrey is simple and ugly, but seems to relish the attention Touchstone pays her, although she has no idea what he says most of the time. She looks forward to being a married woman, and her reasons for marrying are similar to Touchstone's - a desire for sex.SilviusSilvius is a poor shepherd who is desperately in love with Phebe. While Phebe is not overly beautiful, Silvius believes she is perfect. He is undaunted by her continued rejection and scorn and follows her around, love-stricken. Rosalind, after she seems him, believes that he has fallen in love with Phebe's foul moods. He claims that he would marry Phebe even if it meant his death, and his form of love is the most extreme in the play.PhebePhebe is Silvius' love and tries to constantly avoid him. Although she professes to hate him, Rosalind sees that she keeps Silvius around in order to feel better about herself. After being chided by Rosalind (in her Ganymede disguise), she falls in love with the pretty young man. She only accepts Silvius after Rosalind has revealed her true identity.HymenThe "god of marriage" that appears in the last scene of the play. He is the one who performs the quadruple marriage at the end, effectively tying all the loose strings and beginning the celebration.CorinAn older shepherd who is friends with Silvius. He is content with his simple life and does not wish for anything more. He is a worker on the small farm that Rosalind and Celia buy. EXCERPT FROM AS YOU LIKE IT IN PLAIN AND SIMPLE ENGLISH SCENE I. Orchard of Oliver's house.Enter ORLANDO and ADAMORLANDOAs I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashionbequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns,and, as thou sayest, charged my brother, on hisblessing, to breed me well: and there begins mysadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, andreport speaks goldenly of his profit: for my part,he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak moreproperly, stays me here at home unkept; for call youthat keeping for a gentleman of my birth, thatdiffers not from the stalling of an ox? His horsesare bred better; for, besides that they are fairwith their feeding, they are taught their manage,and to that end riders dearly hired: but I, hisbrother, gain nothing under him but growth; for thewhich his animals on his dunghills are as muchbound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he soplentifully gives me, the something that nature gaveme his countenance seems to take from me: he letsme feed with his hinds, bars me the place of abrother, and, as much as in him lies, mines mygentility with my education. This is it, Adam, thatgrieves me; and the spirit of my father, which Ithink is within me, begins to mutiny against thisservitude: I will no longer endure it, though yet Iknow no wise remedy how to avoid it.Adam, I remember that this was whymy father left me only a thousand crowns in his willand, like you said, tasked my brother,while blessing him, to raise me. This began mysad problems. My brother, Oliver, keeps my other brother, Jacques, at school,where everyone says he is doing very well, but mehe keeps here at home in the country, or to bemore exact, cages me here. Do you thinkthat it is fitting for such a noble man as meto be in the same situation as an ox? Oliver’s horsesare treated better than me: they are fed well and they are trainedby well paid trainers. Meanwhile, I, hisown brother, get nothing from his care, unless you count growing and maturing naturally –his animals, sitting on piles of dung and manure, getas much from him and are just as tied to him. He gives mea lot of nothing, and even my noble birthrightshe has taken away from me: he makes me eat with his servants, doesn’t let me have what is rightfully mine as hisbrother, and, as much as he can, ruinsmy upbringing by refusing me a proper education. This, Adam,is why I am sad. My father’s spirit – and I think I share his independence – begs me to rebel against thisservanthood. I will stand for this no longer, even thoughI am not sure how to put a stop to it.ADAMYonder comes my master, your brother.Here comes your brother, my master.ORLANDOGo apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he willshake me up.Go hide, Adam, and you will hear how poorly he treats me.Enter OLIVEROLIVERNow, sir! what make you here?Hello, you! What are you doing here?ORLANDONothing: I am not taught to make any thing.Nothing – I was never taught how to do anything.OLIVERWhat mar you then, sir?Then what are you destroying?ORLANDOMarry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which Godmade, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.Well, I am destroying that which Godmade – your brother who has nothing to do.OLIVERMarry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.Then you should find something to do and go away for a while.ORLANDOShall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them?What prodigal portion have I spent, that I shouldcome to such penury?Would you like me to watch your pigs and eat their food with them?When did I act like the prodigal son and spend my inheritance, so that Imust be punished like this?OLIVERKnow you where your are, sir?Do you know where you are?ORLANDOO, sir, very well; here in your orchard.Yes, I am in your orchard,OLIVERKnow you before whom, sir?And do you know who you are talking to?ORLANDOAy, better than him I am before knows me. I knowyou are my eldest brother; and, in the gentlecondition of blood, you should so know me. Thecourtesy of nations allows you my better, in thatyou are the first-born; but the same traditiontakes not away my blood, were there twenty brothersbetwixt us: I have as much of my father in me asyou; albeit, I confess, your coming before me isnearer to his reverence.Yes, I know him better than he knows me. I knowyou are my oldest brother, and I know you are a gentlemanby birth, but you should know that I am too. Generaltradition says that you are my elder and should be respected,since you are first-born, but that same traditiondoes not take away my nobility, even if there were twenty brothersand I was the youngest. I have just as much of my father’s blood in meas you do – even if, I admit, your place as being born firstwas more honored by him.OLIVERWhat, boy!How dare you!strikes ORLANDOORLANDOCome, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.Now, now – you may be my older brother, but you are not very experienced in fighting.seizes OLIVEROLIVERWilt thou lay hands on me, villain?Do you dare touch me, scoundrel?ORLANDOI am no villain; I am the youngest son of SirRowland de Boys; he was my father, and he is thricea villain that says such a father begot villains.Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this handfrom thy throat till this other had pulled out thytongue for saying so: thou hast railed on thyself.I am not a scoundrel: I am the youngest son of SirRowland de Boys. He is my father, and whoever saysthat he had scoundrels as sons is himself three times the scoundrel.If you were not my brother, I would keep choking you with this hand while my other one would rip outyour tongue for suggesting such a thing. You have insulted only yourself.ADAMSweet masters, be patient: for your father'sremembrance, be at accord.Masters, please stop. For your father’ssake, be at peace.OLIVERLet me go, I say.Let me go, now.ORLANDOI will not, till I please: you shall hear me. Myfather charged you in his will to give me goodeducation: you have trained me like a peasant,obscuring and hiding from me all gentleman-likequalities. The spirit of my father grows strong inme, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allowme such exercises as may become a gentleman, orgive me the poor allottery my father left me bytestament; with that I will go buy my fortunes.Not until I want to – first you will listen. Myfather requested in his will that you make sure I get a goodeducation, and yet you have had me educated like a peasant and commoner,failing to teach me the proper qualities of a gentleman. I have the same character of my father inme and so I will no longer stand for this treatment. Eithertrain me in the proper ways of becoming a gentleman orgive me the small inheritance that my father let mein his will, and I will leave to pursue my own future.OLIVERAnd what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent?Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubledwith you; you shall have some part of your will: Ipray you, leave me.And then what will you do? Will you beg from me when you run out of money?Well, fine, get – I will not be botheredby you any longer. You will have your inheritance and then,please, leave.ORLANDOI will no further offend you than becomes me for my good.I will not bother you any more than I have to so that I get what is due me.OLIVERGet you with him, you old dog.Go away with him, you old dog.ADAMIs 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost myteeth in your service. God be with my old master!he would not have spoke such a word.An ‘old dog’ am I? True enough – I am old enoughto have lost my teeth serving you and your family. God be with your father,my old master! He would never have called me such a name.Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAMOLIVERIs it even so? begin you to grow upon me? I willphysic your rankness, and yet give no thousandcrowns neither. Holla, Dennis!Is it true? Have you grown big enough to challenge me? Well,I will cure your rashness against me and will not give you a thousandcrowns either. Hello, Dennis!Enter DENNISDENNISCalls your worship?You called, your worship?OLIVERWas not Charles, the duke's wrestler, here to speak with me?Has the duke’s wrestler, Charles, come to see me yet?DENNISSo please you, he is here at the door and importunesaccess to you.He is in fact here at the door now, and asksto speak with you.OLIVERCall him in.Call him in.Exit DENNIS'Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is.This will work – and, tomorrow is the wrestling match.Enter CHARLESCHARLESGood morrow to your worship.Hello, your worship.OLIVERGood Monsieur Charles, what's the new news at thenew court?Good sir Charles, what is the news at the new court?CHARLESThere's no news at the court, sir, but the old news:that is, the old duke is banished by his youngerbrother the new duke; and three or four loving lordshave put themselves into voluntary exile with him,whose lands and revenues enrich the new duke;therefore he gives them good leave to wander.Only the old news, sir:that the duke has been banished by his youngerbrother who has become the new duke, and three or four devoted lordshave joined the old duke in voluntary exile –but since their land and money have been given up to the new duke,he has freely allowed them to leave.OLIVERCan you tell if Rosalind, the duke's daughter, bebanished with her father?Was Rosalind, the old duke’s daughter, banished with her father?CHARLESO, no; for the duke's daughter, her cousin, so lovesher, being ever from their cradles bred together,that she would have followed her exile, or have diedto stay behind her. She is at the court, and noless beloved of her uncle than his own daughter; andnever two ladies loved as they do.No, the new duke’s daughter, Rosalind’s cousin, lovesher – they were raised together from their cradles – and would have followed her into exile or would have diedwithout her. Rosalind is at the court, and sheis just as loved by her uncle as his own daughter, Celia. Two ladies were never so fond of each other as they are.OLIVERWhere will the old duke live?Where will the old duke live?CHARLESThey say he is already in the forest of Arden, anda many merry men with him; and there they live likethe old Robin Hood of England: they say many younggentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the timecarelessly, as they did in the golden world.Some say he is already in the forest of Ardenwith a group of happy men, living likeRobin Hood from England. They say young gentleman come to him every day and spend the timewithout a care in the world, as if it were the Garden of Eden.OLIVERWhat, you wrestle to-morrow before the new duke?So will you be wrestling tomorrow in front of the new duke?CHARLESMarry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you with amatter. I am given, sir, secretly to understandthat your younger brother Orlando hath a dispositionto come in disguised against me to try a fall.To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit; and he thatescapes me without some broken limb shall acquit himwell. Your brother is but young and tender; and,for your love, I would be loath to foil him, as Imust, for my own honour, if he come in: therefore,out of my love to you, I came hither to acquaint youwithal, that either you might stay him from hisintendment or brook such disgrace well as he shallrun into, in that it is a thing of his own searchand altogether against my will.Yes, sir, I will be – and I have come to talk with youabout a relevant problem. I was secretly informedthat your younger brother, Orlando, is planningto fight against me in a disguise.Tomorrow, sir, I am fighting to show off, so anyonewho escapes without a broken bone is lucky.Your brother is young and weak still, and,out of my love for you, I would feel bad if I destroyed him,as I must in order to win the honor I am looking to win. So,since I admire you, I came to tell youso that you can either force him away from thisplan or can prepare him for the disgracehe will face in fighting me – disgrace that will be his faultand not something I am looking forward to.OLIVERCharles, I thank thee for thy love to me, whichthou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I hadmyself notice of my brother's purpose herein andhave by underhand means laboured to dissuade him fromit, but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles:it is the stubbornest young fellow of France, fullof ambition, an envious emulator of every man'sgood parts, a secret and villanous contriver againstme his natural brother: therefore use thydiscretion; I had as lief thou didst break his neckas his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for ifthou dost him any slight disgrace or if he do notmightily grace himself on thee, he will practiseagainst thee by poison, entrap thee by sometreacherous device and never leave thee till hehath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other;for, I assure thee, and almost with tears I speakit, there is not one so young and so villanous thisday living. I speak but brotherly of him; butshould I anatomize him to thee as he is, I mustblush and weep and thou must look pale and wonder.Charles, thank you for your respect and loyalty, whichI will certainly reward you for. I discovered my brother’s intentions and have subtly tried to persuade him against it, but he is determined to go through with it. I will tell you, Charles,that Orlando is one of the most stubborn men in France, veryambitious, and also very jealous of every man’sgood qualities. Also, he is a cunning and villainous liar who schemesagainst me, his own brother. Do whatever you think is best – in fact, I would be just as happy if you broke his neckas his finger. You should be careful, too, because ifyou do disgrace him, or even if he does notbeat you by a lot, he will come against you with poison or he will trap you by somedangerous plan, and he will never leaveuntil he has killed you, some way or another.I promise you, and it saddens me to tears to say it, no man so young and yet so cruel and badexists except for him. And I am speaking as his brother –if I were to talk to you as he really is, Iwould blush and cry and you would look shocked and amazed.CHARLESI am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he cometo-morrow, I'll give him his payment: if ever he goalone again, I'll never wrestle for prize more: andso God keep your worship!I am very glad I came here. If he fights metomorrow, then I will give him what he deserves. If he canwalk without assistance after the fight, I will not wrestle for money again.God keep you well, your worship!OLIVERFarewell, good Charles.Goodbye, Charles.Exit CHARLESNow will I stir this gamester: I hope I shall seean end of him; for my soul, yet I know not why,hates nothing more than he. Yet he's gentle, neverschooled and yet learned, full of noble device, ofall sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed so muchin the heart of the world, and especially of my ownpeople, who best know him, that I am altogethermisprised: but it shall not be so long; thiswrestler shall clear all: nothing remains but thatI kindle the boy thither; which now I'll go about.Now I will see what happens to this dandy brother. I hope I seehim killed, for honestly, and I don’t know why, I hate him more than everything, even though he is nice, has neverbeen taught anything but is still educated, is noble,is loved by all kinds of people, is loved in factby the whole world, and especially of my people, who know him best. Because they love him,they despise me – but it won’t be this way for long. Thewrestler, Charles, will fix all of this. All I have to dois convince Orlando to fight tomorrow, which I will do now.ExitSCENE II. Lawn before the Duke's palace.Enter CELIA and ROSALINDCELIAI pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.I hope that you are happy, Rosalind, my sweet cousin.ROSALINDDear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of;and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you couldteach me to forget a banished father, you must notlearn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.Dear Celia, I present myself as happier than I really am,and you want me to be even happier? Unless you canteach me how to forget about my father and his banishment, you should notexpect me to remember such great pleasure.CELIAHerein I see thou lovest me not with the full weightthat I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father,had banished thy uncle, the duke my father, so thouhadst been still with me, I could have taught mylove to take thy father for mine: so wouldst thou,if the truth of thy love to me were so righteouslytempered as mine is to thee.Now I see that you do not love me as fullyas I love you. If my uncle, your banished father,had banished your uncle, my father the duke, and ifI was still here with you, then I would have been able tolove your father as my own. You would be able to also,if your love for me was so strong and overpowering as mine is for you.ROSALINDWell, I will forget the condition of my estate, torejoice in yours.Fine, then I will forget my own situation in orderto be happy for you and rejoice in your situation.CELIAYou know my father hath no child but I, nor none islike to have: and, truly, when he dies, thou shaltbe his heir, for what he hath taken away from thyfather perforce, I will render thee again inaffection; by mine honour, I will; and when I breakthat oath, let me turn monster: therefore, mysweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.You know my father has only me as his child, and is not likely to have anymore. And, when he dies, you willbe his heir – what he took away from yourfather by force I will give to you inlove. I swear it by my own honor, and if I breakthat promise, than I hope I become a monster. Now, mysweet, dear Rose, be happy.ROSALINDFrom henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Letme see; what think you of falling in love?From now on, I will be merry and come up with various games, for you, my cousin. Let’ssee: what do you think about falling in love.CELIAMarry, I prithee, do, to make sport withal: butlove no man in good earnest; nor no further in sportneither than with safety of a pure blush thou maystin honour come off again.Yes, please, let’s do that and fall in love – but we should not love seriously, and we shouldn’t play any gamethat we can’t get out of safely, with a simple blush.ROSALINDWhat shall be our sport, then?So what shall we do instead?CELIALet us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune fromher wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.Let’s sit here and make fun of Fortune, that loose housewife,and see if she will give her gifts more equally.ROSALINDI would we could do so, for her benefits aremightily misplaced, and the bountiful blind womandoth most mistake in her gifts to women.I wish we could get her to do that. Her gifts areso wrongly distributed, and that blind womanmistakes her gifts to women most of all. CELIA'Tis true; for those that she makes fair she scarcemakes honest, and those that she makes honest shemakes very ill-favouredly.It’s true: whoever she makes beautiful, she rarelymakes them faithful and pure, and those whom she makes pure, shealso makes ugly.ROSALINDNay, now thou goest from Fortune's office toNature's: Fortune reigns in gifts of the world,not in the lineaments of Nature. No, you are not talking about Fortune now, you meanNature: Fortune decides what we are given in the world,but Nature decides what we are given as humans.Enter TOUCHSTONECELIANo? when Nature hath made a fair creature, may shenot by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Naturehath given us wit to flout at Fortune, hath notFortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?Really? When Nature makes a beautiful person, couldn’t that personthen fall into the fire because of Fortune, turning her ugly? And even though Natureendowed us with the intelligence to make fun of Fortune, didn’tFortune send this fool Touchstone to ruin our argument?ROSALINDIndeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, whenFortune makes Nature's natural the cutter-off ofNature's wit.Yes, and now Fortune is being difficult with Nature:Fortune has made Nature’s natural fool cut offtwo women whom Nature made naturally witty.CELIAPeradventure this is not Fortune's work neither, butNature's; who perceiveth our natural wits too dullto reason of such goddesses and hath sent thisnatural for our whetstone; for always the dulness ofthe fool is the whetstone of the wits. How now,wit! whither wander you?Perhaps this is not Fortune’s doing either, but isNature’s: Nature saw that we are not naturally smart enoughto talk about either goddess, and so sent usthis natural fool to make us smarter. After all, the ignorance of the fool always makes the wits of the smart person sharper. Hello,fool! Where are you off to?TOUCHSTONEMistress, you must come away to your father.Mistress, you must come see your father.CELIAWere you made the messenger?And he sent you to take me away?TOUCHSTONENo, by mine honour, but I was bid to come for you.By my honor, not to take you away like a police officer! But I was sent to get you.ROSALINDWhere learned you that oath, fool?Where did you learn an oath like that, “by my honor,” you fool?TOUCHSTONEOf a certain knight that swore by his honour theywere good pancakes and swore by his honour themustard was naught: now I'll stand to it, thepancakes were naught and the mustard was good, andyet was not the knight forsworn.A knight I knew swore by his honor that the pancakes were good and he swore by his honor that themustard was not good – but truly, the pancakes were not good and the mustard was fine, and yet still, since the knight had sworn, he had not lied.CELIAHow prove you that, in the great heap of yourknowledge?How do you figure that? Prove it from your great amountof knowledge.ROSALINDAy, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.Yes, unleash all of your wisdom.TOUCHSTONEStand you both forth now: stroke your chins, andswear by your beards that I am a knave.Then stand back, both of you. First stroke your chins and swear by your beards that I am a rascal.CELIABy our beards, if we had them, thou art.By our beards (if we had them, that is), you are a rascal.TOUCHSTONEBy my knavery, if I had it, then I were; but if youswear by that that is not, you are not forsworn: nomore was this knight swearing by his honour, for henever had any; or if he had, he had sworn it awaybefore ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.And I swear by my trickery, if I had any, that I am a rascal as well: but if youswear by something that you don’t have, then even a lie doesn’t break that oath. The knight swore by his honor, but really henever had any to begin with – or if he did, then he lost it by making oathslong before he saw the pancakes or the mustard.CELIAPrithee, who is't that thou meanest?Tell us, who are you talking about?TOUCHSTONEOne that old Frederick, your father, loves.A knight whom your father, old Frederick, loves.CELIAMy father's love is enough to honour him: enough!speak no more of him; you'll be whipped for taxationone of these days.Then my father’s love is enough to make him honorable! Now stopand don’t speak any more about him, or else you will be whipped for slander.I’m sure you will some day anyway.TOUCHSTONEThe more pity, that fools may not speak wisely whatwise men do foolishly.It is sad that fools are not allowed to talk wisely aboutthe foolish actions of wise men.CELIABy my troth, thou sayest true; for since the littlewit that fools have was silenced, the little foolerythat wise men have makes a great show. Here comesMonsieur Le Beau.That’s true: since the littlewisdom that fools might have has been silenced, the little foolishnessthat wise men have ends up being obvious and apparent. Here comes Mister Le Beau.ROSALINDWith his mouth full of news.No doubt full of news to tell us.CELIAWhich he will put on us, as pigeons feed their young.He will force it on us the same way that pigeons feed their young.ROSALINDThen shall we be news-crammed.And then we shall be stuffed with news.CELIAAll the better; we shall be the more marketable.Good, a fatter bird is worth more anyway.Enter LE BEAUBon jour, Monsieur Le Beau: what's the news?Hello, Mister Le Beau: what is new?LE BEAUFair princess, you have lost much good sport.Fair princess, you are missing out on some fun.CELIASport! of what colour?Fun! What color of fun?LE BEAUWhat colour, madam! how shall I answer you?What color, madam? I don’t understand; how am I supposed to respond to that?ROSALINDAs wit and fortune will.As your brain and luck allows you.TOUCHSTONEOr as the Destinies decree.Or as the Fates say you will.CELIAWell said: that was laid on with a trowel.Well said: you laid that on thick.TOUCHSTONENay, if I keep not my rank,--If I don’t keep my Jester’s rank–ROSALINDThou losest thy old smell.Then you’ll lose your smell.LE BEAUYou amaze me, ladies: I would have told you of goodwrestling, which you have lost the sight of.Ladies, you are confusing me. I wanted to tell you of a goodwrestling match, which you have missed part of.ROSALINDYou tell us the manner of the wrestling.Tell us more about this match.LE BEAUI will tell you the beginning; and, if it pleaseyour ladyships, you may see the end; for the best isyet to do; and here, where you are, they are comingto perform it.I will tell you about the beginning, and if you find it interesting,you can see the end, which is the bestpart. In fact, they are coming here to finish the match.CELIAWell, the beginning, that is dead and buried.Well the beginning is over with, it’s dead and buried.LE BEAUThere comes an old man and his three sons,--An old man came with his three sons–CELIAI could match this beginning with an old tale.This sounds like the beginning of an old folk tale.LE BEAUThree proper young men, of excellent growth and presence.Three good and right young men, big and strong, with a commanding presence.ROSALINDWith bills on their necks, 'Be it known unto all menby these presents.'With signs around their necks that say, “Let it be known to everyoneby these presents.’LE BEAUThe eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, theduke's wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw himand broke three of his ribs, that there is littlehope of life in him: so he served the second, andso the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man,their father, making such pitiful dole over themthat all the beholders take his part with weeping.The oldest brother wrestled with Charles, theduke’s own wrestler, and Charles immediately threw himand broke three of his ribs. It is doubtful thathe will survive. He did the same to the second andto the third brother. They are lying over there, and their poor old fatheris crying so loudly and sadly over themthat everyone watching in the audience is grieving as well. ROSALINDAlas!Oh no!TOUCHSTONEBut what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladieshave lost?So what is the fun part, sir, that you say the ladies have missed?LE BEAUWhy, this that I speak of.Why, what I just said.TOUCHSTONEThus men may grow wiser every day: it is the firsttime that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sportfor ladies.Men must be getting smarter every day, since this is the firsttime I have ever heard someone call broken ribs a fun sportfor ladies to see.CELIAOr I, I promise thee.Me too, I promise.ROSALINDBut is there any else longs to see this broken musicin his sides? is there yet another dotes uponrib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?But who else longs to hear the noise of breathpushed through broken ribs? And who but us would love to seeribs being broken? Can we see the wrestling, cousin Celia?LE BEAUYou must, if you stay here; for here is the placeappointed for the wrestling, and they are ready toperform it.You will if you stay here, since this is wherethey will finish the wrestling, and they are readyto keep going.CELIAYonder, sure, they are coming: let us now stay and see it.Yes – they are coming from over there. We should stay and watch.Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and AttendantsDUKE FREDERICKCome on: since the youth will not be entreated, hisown peril on his forwardness.Come on, then. Since this young man won’t listen to pleas to stop, herisks his own life from his hardheadedness.ROSALINDIs yonder the man?Is that the man?LE BEAUEven he, madam.Yes it is, madam.CELIAAlas, he is too young! yet he looks successfully.Oh, but he is too young! But he looks like he can handle himself well.DUKE FREDERICKHow now, daughter and cousin! are you crept hitherto see the wrestling?Daughter and niece, what are you doing here? Have you cometo see the wrestling?ROSALINDAy, my liege, so please you give us leave.Yes, my liege, and please allow us to watch.DUKE FREDERICKYou will take little delight in it, I can tell you;there is such odds in the man. In pity of thechallenger's youth I would fain dissuade him, but hewill not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see ifyou can move him.You will not enjoy it much, to be honest:the odds are greatly against this young man. Out of sadnessfor his youth, I have tried to persuade him against fighting, but he will not listen. Ladies, speak to him and see if you can get him to give up.CELIACall him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.Call him to us, good Mister Le Beau.DUKE FREDERICKDo so: I'll not be by.Yes, and I will leave you alone to talk.LE BEAUMonsieur the challenger, the princesses call for you.Mister challenger, the princesses have called to talk to you.ORLANDOI attend them with all respect and duty.I come to them with my respect and obedience.ROSALINDYoung man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?Young man, have you really challenged Charles, the duke’s professional wrestler?ORLANDONo, fair princess; he is the general challenger: Icome but in, as others do, to try with him thestrength of my youth.No, beautiful princess, he is the general challenger. I,like many others, come up against him to testmy young strength.CELIAYoung gentleman, your spirits are too bold for youryears. You have seen cruel proof of this man'sstrength: if you saw yourself with your eyes orknew yourself with your judgment, the fear of youradventure would counsel you to a more equalenterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, toembrace your own safety and give over this attempt.Young man, you are too bold for yourage. You have already seen the awful effects of this wrestler’s strength. You need to look at yourself,or know yourself honestly; then the proper fearof this plan will teach you to look fora less dangerous adventure. We beg you, for your sake,do the safe thing and give up this attempt to fight.ROSALINDDo, young sir; your reputation shall not thereforebe misprised: we will make it our suit to the dukethat the wrestling might not go forward.Yes, do that, young sir. We will even make sure your reputation does notsuffer by taking it upon ourselves to request the duketo cancel the wrestling match.ORLANDOI beseech you, punish me not with your hardthoughts; wherein I confess me much guilty, to denyso fair and excellent ladies any thing. But letyour fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to mytrial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but oneshamed that was never gracious; if killed, but onedead that was willing to be so: I shall do myfriends no wrong, for I have none to lament me, theworld no injury, for in it I have nothing; only inthe world I fill up a place, which may be bettersupplied when I have made it empty.Please do not punish me with your hardhonesty. I confess that I would be very guilt to denyeither of you beautiful ladies anything, but I would ratheryour beautiful eyes and good wishes follow me to the match. If I am beaten there, then only Iget the shame, and I wasn’t thought well of anyway. But if I am killed,then the one who dies was willing to die. I am not doingmy friends anything wrong, since I do not have friends to cry for me,and I am not harming the world because I have nothing in the world – I only take up space, which might be betterfilled when I am out of it.ROSALINDThe little strength that I have, I would it were with you.I wish that the little strength I have goes with you.CELIAAnd mine, to eke out hers.Mine as well, to join with hers.ROSALINDFare you well: pray heaven I be deceived in you!Good luck, and I pray that I am wrong about your chances!CELIAYour heart's desires be with you!May whatever you desire be with you!CHARLESCome, where is this young gallant that is sodesirous to lie with his mother earth?Come on, where is that young playboy whowants to be buried and sleep with Mother Earth?ORLANDOReady, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.I am ready, sir – but I am aspiring to more modest things.DUKE FREDERICKYou shall try but one fall.You get only one round.CHARLESNo, I warrant your grace, you shall not entreat himto a second, that have so mightily persuaded himfrom a first.I promise your grace, you won’t have to beg himto fight in a second round, even though you couldn’t keep himfrom a first round.ORLANDOYou mean to mock me after, you should not havemocked me before: but come your ways.You should be mocking me after the fight, notbefore, but whatever you want.ROSALINDNow Hercules be thy speed, young man!Be as fast as Hercules, young man!CELIAI would I were invisible, to catch the strongfellow by the leg.I wish I was invisible so that I could grab onto Charles by the leg.They wrestleROSALINDO excellent young man!What an excellent young man!CELIAIf I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell whoshould down.If I could shoot thunderbolts from my eyes, I can tell you whowould be thrown down.Shout. CHARLES is thrownDUKE FREDERICKNo more, no more.No more, stop.ORLANDOYes, I beseech your grace: I am not yet well breathed.Please, I beg you, your Grace, let us continue: I’m not yet out of breath.DUKE FREDERICKHow dost thou, Charles?And how are you doing, Charles?LE BEAUHe cannot speak, my lord.He can’t speak, my lord.DUKE FREDERICKBear him away. What is thy name, young man?Carry him away. What is your name, young man?ORLANDOOrlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sire Rowland de Boys.DUKE FREDERICKI would thou hadst been son to some man else:The world esteem'd thy father honourable,But I did find him still mine enemy:Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed,Hadst thou descended from another house.But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth:I would thou hadst told me of another father.I wish you had been someone else’s son.The world held your father as very honorable,but I still considered him my enemy.Your victory would have please me moreif you were from a different family.Still, I wish you well. You are a brave young manand I only wish you had told me you had another father.Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAUCELIAWere I my father, coz, would I do this?Cousin, would I do this if I were my father?ORLANDOI am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son,His youngest son; and would not change that calling,To be adopted heir to Frederick.I am proud to be Sir Rowland’s youngest son, and would not change thateven to become Frederick’s adopted heir.ROSALINDMy father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,And all the world was of my father's mind:Had I before known this young man his son,I should have given him tears unto entreaties,Ere he should thus have ventured.My father loved Sir Rowland as much as his own soul,and everyone else shared his opinion.If I had known beforehand that he were his son,I would have begged him with tearsnot to go on with his plans. CELIAGentle cousin,Let us go thank him and encourage him:My father's rough and envious dispositionSticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserved:If you do keep your promises in loveBut justly, as you have exceeded all promise,Your mistress shall be happy.Gentle cousin,let’s go thank him and encourage him –my father’s jealous meanness upsets me. Sir, you did very well in the match,and if you are able to lovelike that, even better than how others think you can,then your wife will be very happy.ROSALINDGentleman,Giving him a chain from her neckWear this for me, one out of suits with fortune,That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.Shall we go, coz?Gentleman,Where this necklace for me, someone who has been unluckyand thus cannot give you anything greater.Shall we leave, cousin?CELIAAy. Fare you well, fair gentleman.Yes. Best of luck to you, fair gentleman.ORLANDOCan I not say, I thank you? My better partsAre all thrown down, and that which here stands upIs but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.I can’t even say thank you? Really? All of my best parts, like my ability to speak,are back on the wrestling mat. The only thing left, which stands hereis a dummy, a lifeless stone.ROSALINDHe calls us back: my pride fell with my fortunes;I'll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrownMore than your enemies.He is calling towards us to come back. My luck fell, and like it my pride did too.I’ll ask him what he wanted. Did you call to us, sir?Sir, you have fought well, and you have conqueredmore than your enemies.CELIAWill you go, coz?Can we go now, cousin?ROSALINDHave with you. Fare you well.Fine, fine. Good luck, sir.Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIAORLANDOWhat passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.What are these passionate feelings that are blocking my tongue?I can’t seem to say anything to her, and she even sought to talk to me.O poor me! I have been conquered!Either Charles or else something weaker and prettier has overcome me.Re-enter LE BEAULE BEAUGood sir, I do in friendship counsel youTo leave this place. Albeit you have deservedHigh commendation, true applause and love,Yet such is now the duke's conditionThat he misconstrues all that you have done.The duke is humorous; what he is indeed,More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.Sir, in friendship I advise youto leave this place. While it is true that you have deservedhigh praise, applause, and love,the duke is now of a strange moodand he misconstrues your actions.He is very moody, and I’m sureyou can imagine what I mean without me putting words to it.ORLANDOI thank you, sir: and, pray you, tell me this:Which of the two was daughter of the dukeThat here was at the wrestling?Thank you sir, and please, tell me:which girl is the duke’s daughterof the two who were at the match?LE BEAUNeither his daughter, if we judge by manners;But yet indeed the lesser is his daughterThe other is daughter to the banish'd duke,And here detain'd by her usurping uncle,To keep his daughter company; whose lovesAre dearer than the natural bond of sisters.But I can tell you that of late this dukeHath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece,Grounded upon no other argumentBut that the people praise her for her virtuesAnd pity her for her good father's sake;And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the ladyWill suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well:Hereafter, in a better world than this,I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.If you are judging by their manners, neither –but in fact the smaller one is the duke’s daughter,and the other is the daughter of the banished duke,kept here by her uncle after usurping the throneto keep his daughter company. Their loveis stronger than the natural bond of sisters.But lately, the dukehas become displeased with his niecefor no other reason than the fact that she is praised by everyone for her virtues,and pitied for the sake of her good father.I swear on my life, his ill will towards herwill become manifest soon. Sir, best of luck to you.Some time later, in a better world than this one,I would like to get to know you better.ORLANDOI rest much bounden to you: fare you well.Exit LE BEAUThus must I from the smoke into the smother;From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother:But heavenly Rosalind!I owe you much, Goodbye.So I must go from the smoke to the fire –from the tyrant duke to his tyrant brother.But heavenly Rosalind!
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