The Bring me my Keys Tee from Unethical Threads is for the friend who's already lost one shoe and is still patting their pockets at 1 AM. You know exactly who you are. We're not endorsing anything here, we're just printing what everyone's thinking. Who actually wears this? People with poor judgment and great taste in shirts. The kind of person who says "I'm fine" while knocking over a barstool. If you've ever been physically separated from your car keys by concerned friends, this tee was designed with you in mind. Or as a gift from those friends, which honestly might be the move. Heavyweight cotton that can take a beating, much like your liver Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because bad decisions come in all sizes Crew neck, classic cut, nothing complicated DTG printed so the graphic stays crisp long after the memories fade Machine washable, turn inside out, cold wash, you know the drill Is this actually a good gift? One of the best. If someone in your group chat always needs a ride home, this is their shirt. It's cheaper than bail money and gets the point across just as clearly. Birthday, holiday, intervention, whatever the occasion, it works. Frequently Asked Questions Does this shirt run true to size? Yes. Unisex relaxed fit that runs true from S to 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes. Will the print fade after washing? No. The DTG print holds up wash after wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it. Will this offend someone? Almost certainly. That's kind of the point. What's the shirt made of? Heavyweight 100% cotton. Feels solid, not thin and flimsy. Is this a good gag gift? It's one of the best gag gifts for the friend who's been cut off at the bar one too many times. They'll either love it or feel personally attacked. Ideally both.
