A Message from the Chairman: On the Subject of Plugging GapsSir Cucumber Dog has observed, with considerable dismay, that your coffee table is suffering. Not from a lack of character — clearly it has that in abundance — but from the relentless assault of hot mugs, sweating glasses, and the general chaos of your beverage habits.This coaster exists to plug that gap. Quite literally.Featuring a design so audaciously named that it will cause your mother-in-law to choke on her Earl Grey, the Butt Plug Coaster is the rude novelty gift that keeps on giving — mostly giving people something to stare at in horrified silence.Why You Absolutely Require This Conversation Starter (or Ender): Place it on the coffee table before guests arrive. Watch the room divide between those who laugh and those who leave. Either outcome is acceptable. Functional Filth: It's not just rude — it's useful. Heat-resistant, water-repellent, and non-slip, because even the most offensive coaster should do its job properly. The Gift That Requires No Explanation: Except it absolutely does, and that's the point. Perfect for Secret Santa, birthdays, or anyone who needs reminding that life shouldn't be taken so seriously. 🔩 Technical Specifications for the Meticulous Material: Hardboard MDF 3mm with cork backing 1mm Finish: High-gloss coating — wipeable, vibrant, and unapologetically shiny Dimensions: 95 × 95 × 4mm (3.74″ × 3.74″ × 0.16″) with rounded corners Performance: Water-repellent, heat-resistant, and non-slip Maintenance: Wipe clean. Do not submerge. Do not explain to your nan. Sold as: Single coaster Who Is This For? (The Victims) The Chronically Unbothered: For the person who genuinely doesn't care what anyone thinks and has the home decor to prove it. The Gifter of Chaos: If your go-to gift strategy is "something that will cause a scene," congratulations — you've found it. The Office Disruptor: For the colleague who has already pushed HR to their absolute limit and sees no reason to stop now. Fans of Rude Novelty Gifts: For anyone who believes a funny coaster is a perfectly legitimate form of self-expression.
