A Message from the Chairman: On the Mythology of RomanceSir Cucumber Dog has reviewed the legend of Cupid — a small, winged child who flies around shooting people with arrows and is somehow considered responsible for love — and found the entire concept deeply suspicious.The Cupid Stunt Coaster is his considered response.It is a coaster that acknowledges the chaos of romance with the linguistic dexterity it deserves. Read it quickly. Read it slowly. Read it aloud in polite company and watch the room recalibrate.Why You Absolutely Require This A Masterclass in Wordplay: The name is, technically, two perfectly innocent words. What happens when you say them quickly is entirely the English language's fault. The Anti-Valentine's Gift: For the person who finds the entire concept of February 14th deeply exhausting and would prefer something honest. Plausible Deniability, Maximum Impact: Leave it on the coffee table. Wait. Say nothing. 🔩 Technical Specifications for the Meticulous Material: Hardboard MDF 3mm with cork backing 1mm Finish: High-gloss coating — wipeable and defiantly cheerful Dimensions: 95 × 95 × 4mm (3.74″ × 3.74″ × 0.16″) with rounded corners Performance: Water-repellent, heat-resistant, and non-slip Maintenance: Wipe clean. Unlike the reputation of anyone who reads it aloud. Sold as: Single coaster Who Is This For? (The Victims) The Wordplay Enthusiast: For the person who appreciates a joke that requires a second read and then a sharp intake of breath. The Anti-Romantic: For anyone who has decided that love is fine but a good pun is better. The Hen Do Staple: An essential addition to any celebration that aims to be both tasteful and absolutely not. Fans of Rude Novelty Gifts: For anyone who believes their coaster collection has been far too innocent for far too long.
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