We all know it’s not you. It’s them.This is the perfect print for anyone who has ever stood in front of the mirror, struggled with a zipper, and wondered what the hell happened overnight. You didn't change; these tiny, tireless saboteurs just decided to ruin your life by taking in the waistband.This poster is for those who need a laugh instead of another soul-crushing "motivational" diet quote. It’s perfect for the bedroom, your walk-in closet, or as a gift for that best friend who’s always down for wine and a real conversation.Designed for anyone who knows that a sense of humor is the only thing that fits perfectly.calories/ ˈkæləriz / wardrobe-terrorists ·saboteurs1. the tiny, invisible assholes that break into your closet at night to sew your clothes tighter.2. a conspiracy disguised as energy, specifically engineered to turn your favorite jeans into a torture device.3. the only phenomenon in the universe that thrives in the dark and hates when you try to zip up your dress.Prefer to print at home?We believe meaningful words should be accessible to everyone. You’re welcome to download Calories at no cost.👉 Get print file
