equal opportunity crew sweatshirt

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If April Ludgate designed comfort wear, this would be it — quietly judgmental, effortlessly unimpressed, and guaranteed to make at least three people uncomfortable without you sayi ng a single word. This “Equal Opportunity Sasshole” sweatshirt is for the ones who don’t discriminate in their sarcasm: friends, coworkers, strangers in line at Target — everyone gets the same deadpan energy. Soft, cozy, and perfect for wearing while avoiding eye contact, ignoring group chats, or plotting petty revenge with absolutely no follow-through. Wear it to work, brunch, or anywhere you want people to know your love language is lightly roasting everyone equally. Product features- Printed on a Gildan 18000 heavyblend crewneck sweatshirt- Tubular knit — no side seams for a smooth, waste‑reducing finish- Medium‑heavy 50/50 cotton‑poly fabric (8.0 oz/yd²) for warmth and durability- Ribbed knit collar and cuffs retain shape; double‑needle stitching at stress points- OEKO‑TEX dyes and US Cotton Trust Protocol cotton; made in NicaraguaCare instructions- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed- Tumble dry: low heat- Do not iron- Do not dryclean S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL Width, in 20.00 22.01 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 32.00 34.00 Length, in 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 34.00 Sleeve length (from center back), in 33.50 34.50 35.50 36.50 37.50 38.50 39.50 40.50 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 Show more