A Message from the Chairman: In Defence of the KnobSir Cucumber Dog wishes it to be known that he is a sophisticated pug of considerable refinement. He does not, as a rule, endorse vulgarity for its own sake.However. The Knob Coaster is different.It is a masterpiece of understated rudeness — the kind of thing that sits on your coffee table looking perfectly innocent until someone leans in for a closer look and immediately regrets it. It is, in Sir Cucumber Dog's considered opinion, exactly the right amount of wrong.Why You Absolutely Require This Plausible Deniability: From a distance, it's just a coaster. Up close, it's a social hand grenade. The choice of when to detonate it is entirely yours. A Gift of Rare Precision: Finding a present that is simultaneously useful, funny, and mildly offensive is an art form. You have just mastered it. Durability Befitting the Name: Built to last, heat-resistant, and non-slip. Because a good knob should be reliable. 🔩 Technical Specifications for the Meticulous Material: Hardboard MDF 3mm with cork backing 1mm Finish: High-gloss coating — wipeable and gloriously vivid Dimensions: 95 × 95 × 4mm (3.74″ × 3.74″ × 0.16″) with rounded corners Performance: Water-repellent, heat-resistant, and non-slip Maintenance: Wipe clean. Simple. Dignified. Unlike the design. Sold as: Single coaster Who Is This For? (The Victims) The Quietly Deviant: For the person who appears perfectly respectable but has a home full of evidence to the contrary. The Impossible-to-Buy-For Bloke: Solves the eternal problem of what to get the man who has everything but needs something funnier. The Hen Do Hostess: An essential addition to any pre-wedding celebration that aims to be memorable for all the wrong reasons. Lovers of Rude Novelty Gifts: For anyone who thinks a funny coaster is a perfectly reasonable thing to own.
