MY BRAIN: DON’T SAY ANYTHING. LET IT GO. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. MY MOUTH: LISTEN HERE, ASSHAT. COFFEE MUG SIZE: 14OZ THE ULTIMATE COFFEE MUG FOR THE UNFILTERED AND UNAPOLOGETIC. THIS COFFEE MUG IS FOR ANYONE WHOSE INNER MONOLOGUE IS A CONSTANT BATTLE BETWEEN BEING A DECENT HUMAN AND UNLEASHING THEIR INNER CHAOS GREMLIN. IT’S THE PERFECT COMPANION FOR THOSE MOMENTS WHEN YOUR BRAIN IS SCREAMING *“BE COOL, BE COOL”* BUT YOUR MOUTH IS LIKE, *“NAH, LET’S BURN IT ALL DOWN.” WHETHER YOU’RE DEALING WITH A KNOW-IT-ALL COWORKER, A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE TEXT, OR JUST SOMEONE WHO CUTS IN LINE AT STARBUCKS, THIS COFFEE MUG IS YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. IT’S HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT SOMETIMES, THE HIGH ROAD IS OVERRATED—AND THE LOW ROAD IS WAY MORE ENTERTAINING. THIS COFFEE MUG HOLDS 14OZ OF LIQUID—ENOUGH COFFEE TO FUEL YOUR SASS AND YOUR SURVIVAL INSTINCTS. COFFEE MUG MAY CAUSE SPONTANEOUS OUTBURSTS OF HONESTY, SIDE-EYE, OR VERBAL SMACKDOWNS. USE RESPONSIBLY (OR DON’T—WE’RE NOT YOUR MOM.)
