Love's Labour Lost In Plain and Simple English (Digital Download)

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PURCHASE A COPY OF LOVE'S LABOUR LOST IN PLAIN AND SIMPLE ENGLISH NOW! Do you need to understand Shakespeare and want something more interactive? Try our free app, SwipeSpeare! EXC ERPT FROM LOVE'S LABOUR LOST IN PLAIN AND SIMPLE ENGLISH SCENE I. The king of Navarre's park.Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE and DUMAINFERDINAND Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,Let fame, which everyone seeks in their lives,Live register'd upon our brazen tombsLive carved upon our brass tombsAnd then grace us in the disgrace of death;And then honor us in the dishonor of death;When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,When, in spite of ravenous devouring Time,The endeavor of this present breath may buyThe hard work of our lives may buyThat honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edgeThat honor which blunts death’s sharp bladeAnd make us heirs of all eternity.And make us all live forever.Therefore, brave conquerors,--for so you are,And so, brave conquerors, --for that’s what you are,That war against your own affectionsThat war against your own feelingsAnd the huge army of the world's desires,--And the huge army that is the world’s desiresOur late edict shall strongly stand in force:Our most recent law will strongly uphold:Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;Navarre will be the wonder of the world;Our court shall be a little Academe,Our court will be like an academy,Still and contemplative in living art.Constant and thoughtful in living art.You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,You three Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,Have sworn for three years' term to live with meHave sworn that you will live with me for three yearsMy fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutesMy scholar-men, and to uphold the lawsThat are recorded in this schedule here:That are recorded in this schedule here:Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,You have said your oaths, and now write your names,That his own hand may strike his honour downSo that his signature will be his downfall forThat violates the smallest branch herein:Whoever violates the smallest part of the oath from here on out:If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,If you are ready to do what you’ve sworn to do,Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.Sign here to affirm your oaths, and keep them.LONGAVILLE I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:I am determined; it will be like a fast for only three years:The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:The mind will banquet, though the body will yearn:Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bitsFat stomachs have thin heads, and delicate bitsMake rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.Make your ribs rich and completely bankrupt your wits.DUMAIN My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:My gracious lord, Dumain is humiliated:The grosser manner of these world's delightsThe abundance of these world’s delightsHe throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:He throws to this big world’s lesser people:To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;To love, to wealth, to splendor, I yearn and die;With all these living in philosophy.All of these things will only be thoughts to me.BIRON I can but say their protestation over;I can only repeat what they have said;So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,I have already sworn so much, my dear liege,That is, to live and study here three years.Which is to live and study here for three yearsBut there are other strict observances;But there are other strict rules;As, not to see a woman in that term,Like, not being able to see a woman during that time,Which I hope well is not enrolled there;Which I really hope is not required there;And one day in a week to touch no foodAnd for one day a week not to touch any foodAnd but one meal on every day beside,And only one meal on every day besides that,The which I hope is not enrolled there;Which I also hope is not required there;And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,And another, to only sleep three hours a nightAnd not be seen to wink of all the day--And not being able to close your eyes all day--When I was wont to think no harm all nightWhen I have been used to sleeping all nightAnd make a dark night too of half the day--And also into half of the day--Which I hope well is not enrolled there:Which I really hope is not required thereO, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,O, these are empty tasks, too hard to keep,Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!To not see any ladies, study, not eat, not sleep!FERDINAND Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.You’ve sworn an oath to give up these things.BIRON Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:Let me say no, my liege, if you’ll permit me to say:I only swore to study with your graceI only swore to study with your graceAnd stay here in your court for three years' space.And stay here in your court for three years’ time.LONGAVILLE You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.You did swear to that, Biron, and to everything else.BIRON By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.Earnestly, sir, then I swore as a jokeWhat is the end of study? let me know.What is the purpose of the study? Tell me.FERDINAND Why, that to know, which else we should not know.Well, so that we can know things we wouldn’t know otherwise.BIRON Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?You mean things that are hidden and barred from common sense?FERDINAND Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.Yes, that is the godlike reward of the study.BIRON Come on, then; I will swear to study so,Alright, then; I will swear to study this way,To know the thing I am forbid to know:So that I can know the thing I am forbidden to know;As thus,--to study where I well may dine,So that, --I can learn where I can dine,When I to feast expressly am forbid;When I am expressly forbid to eat;Or study where to meet some mistress fine,Or learn where to meet a fine lady,When mistresses from common sense are hid;When ladies are hidden from common sense;Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,Or, if I’ve sworn to keep an oath that’s too hard to keep,Study to break it and not break my troth.Learn how to break it and not break my loyalty to the pledge.If study's gain be thus and this be so,If that is what I will gain by studying,Study knows that which yet it doth not know:Study knows the things that it doesn’t know yet:Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.Swear me to this and I will never say no.FERDINAND These be the stops that hinder study quiteThese are the obstacles that greatly impede studyingAnd train our intellects to vain delight.And allure our intellects to selfish delights.BIRON Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,Well all delights are selfish; but the most selfish,Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:Which as it is acquired with hard labor, it inherits pain:As, painfully to pore upon a bookLike, poring laboriously over a bookTo seek the light of truth; while truth the whileTo seek the light of truth; and all the while truthDoth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:Treacherously blinds his eyesight and his power to see:Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:Searching for truth by excessive study takes your eyes’ ability to see,:So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,Like, when you stare at a bright light,Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.It eventually blinds you.Study me how to please the eye indeedTeach me how to please the eye indeedBy fixing it upon a fairer eye,By looking at the eyes of a beautiful woman,Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heedThat dazzles so much that it will be his safetyAnd give him light that it was blinded by.And it will give him the light that his eye was blinded by.Study is like the heaven's glorious sunStudy is like the heaven’s glorious sunThat will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:That will not be scrutinized by insolent looks:Small have continual plodders ever wonPeople who trudge on continuously win very littleSave base authority from others' booksExcept for the lowest power from others’ booksThese earthly godfathers of heaven's lightsThese earthly guardians of heaven’s lightsThat give a name to every fixed starThat namde every immovable starHave no more profit of their shining nightsGet no more benefit from their starlit nightsThan those that walk and wot not what they are.Than those that walk around not knowing what stars are.Too much to know is to know nought but fame;To know too much is to know nothing but secondhand information;And every godfather can give a name.And every child’s godfather can give a name.FERDINAND How well he's read, to reason against reading!How well informed he is, to argue against learning!DUMAIN Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!He is very advanced, to stop all advancement! LONGAVILLE He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.He pulls out the wheat and allows weeds to grow.BIRON The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.We know that spring is coming when the geese start breeding.DUMAIN How follows that?What does that have to do with anything?BIRON Fit in his place and time.Exactly in its place and time.DUMAIN In reason nothing.It makes no sense.BIRON Something then in rhyme.Maybe if I made it rhyme.FERDINAND Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,Biron is like a malicious nipping frost,That bites the first-born infants of the spring.That kills the first-born buds of the spring.BIRON Well, say I am; why should proud summer boastWell, say I am; why should glorious summer boastBefore the birds have any cause to sing?Before the birds have any cause to sing?Why should I joy in any abortive birth?Why should I take joy in a failed birth?At Christmas I no more desire a roseAt Christmas I don’t wish that roses would growThan wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;Any more than I wish for snow to ruin the new joy of spring in May;But like of each thing that in season grows.But each things grows in its own season.So you, to study now it is too late,Just like you, to study now is too late,Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.Climb over the house and unlock the little gate.FERDINAND Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.Well, you sit out: go home Biron; goodbye.BIRON No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:And though I have for barbarism spoke moreAnd though I have been speaking more for the unculturedThan for that angel knowledge you can say,Than for the angel that is knowledge,Yet confident I'll keep what I have sworeYet I’m confident that I will keep my oathsAnd bide the penance of each three years' day.And stay for the three years of penance.Give me the paper; let me read the same;Give me the paper; let me read the oaths;And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.And sign myself to the strictest rules.FERDINAND How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!How well you’ve rescued yourself from shame by giving in!BIRON [Reads] 'Item, That no woman shall come within a‘Note, That no woman will come within amile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?mile of my court:’ Has this been proclaimed?LONGAVILLE Four days ago.Four days ago.BIRON Let's see the penalty.Let’s see what the penalty is.Reads'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?‘If caught, she will lose her tongue.’ Who came up with this penalty?LONGAVILLE Marry, that did I.That was me.BIRON Sweet lord, and why?Why, sweet lord?LONGAVILLE To fright them hence with that dread penalty.To frighten them away form such a horrible penalty.BIRON A dangerous law against gentility!A dangerous law against nobility!Reads'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman‘Note, If any man be seen to talk with a womanwithin the term of three years, he shall endure suchwithin the term of three years, he will suffer whateverpublic shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'public shame that the rest of the court can possibly come up with.’This article, my liege, yourself must break;This rule, my liege, you yourself are going to have to break;For well you know here comes in embassyYou know very well that on their way in embassyThe French king's daughter with yourself to speak--Is the The French king’s daughter, to speak with you--A maid of grace and complete majesty--A graceful and majestic woman--About surrender up of AquitaineAbout the surrender of AquitaineTo her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:To her sick, dying, bedridden father:Therefore this article is made in vain,Therefore this rule is useless,Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.Or it’s useless for the beautiful princess to come here.FERDINAND What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.What do you say lords? We seem to have completely forgotten this.BIRON So study evermore is overshot:And so study is always overshot:While it doth study to have what it wouldWhile it studies to learn what it canIt doth forget to do the thing it should,It forgets to do what it’s supposed to,And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,And what it has the thing it seeks the most,'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.It’s won like towns with fire, won and then lost.FERDINAND We must of force dispense with this decree;We are going to have to do away with this decree;She must lie here on mere necessity.She comes here for a necessity.BIRON Necessity will make us all forswornNecessity will make us all break our vowsThree thousand times within this three years' space;Three thousand times within these three years;For every man with his affects is born,For every man is born with feelings,Not by might master'd but by special grace:That are not mastered by strength, but by a special grace:If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;If I break my vows, this word will defend me;I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'I broke them because of ‘necessity’So to the laws at large I write my name:So with the laws at large, I write my name:SubscribesSignsAnd he that breaks them in the least degreeAnd whoever breaks them in the smallest degreeStands in attainder of eternal shame:Will be disgraced by eternal shame:Suggestions are to other as to me;Suggestions are to others as well as me;But I believe, although I seem so loath,But I think, although I seem so reluctant,I am the last that will last keep his oath.That I will be the last man to keep his oath.But is there no quick recreation granted?But will permission not be granted for some quick enjoyment before we start?FERDINAND Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is hauntedYes, there will be. Our court, you know, is hauntedWith a refined traveller of Spain;By an elegant traveler from Spain;A man in all the world's new fashion planted,A man who is very knowledgeable of the world,That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;That has a store of phrases in his brain;One whom the music of his own vain tongueWhose musical native languageDoth ravish like enchanting harmony;Enraptures like an enchanting harmony;A man of complements, whom right and wrongA man who gives out compliments, whom right and wrongHave chose as umpire of their mutiny:Have chosen to be the judge of their mutiny:This child of fancy, that Armado hight,This child of fancy called Armado,For interim to our studies shall relateIn the meantime during our studies will tell usIn high-born words the worth of many a knightIn eloquent words the worth of many a knightFrom tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.From tan-colored Spain that were killed in the world’s wars.How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;I don’t know how much he will delight you;But, I protest, I love to hear him lieBut I must say that I love to hear him lieAnd I will use him for my minstrelsy.And I will use him for my troupe of entertainers.BIRON Armado is a most illustrious wight,Armado is a very famous creature,A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.A man with new words like fire, a knight of making shapes and forms.LONGAVILLE Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;The young man Costard and he will entertain us;And so to study, three years is but short.And so let’s get to studying, three years is a short time.Enter DULL with a letter, and COSTARDDULL Which is the duke's own person?Which one of you is the duke’s person?BIRON This, fellow: what wouldst?That’s me: what do you want?DULL I myself reprehend his own person, for I am hisI myself am above his person, since I amgrace's tharborough: but I would see his own personThe King’s officer: but I must see the duke himself,in flesh and blood.His own flesh and blood.BIRON This is he.I am the duke.DULL Signior Arme--Arme--commends you. There's villanyMister Arme—Arme—writes to you. There’s foul workabroad: this letter will tell you more.abroad: this letter will tell you more.COSTARD Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.Sir, the contemptuous things it mentions are regarding me.FERDINAND A letter from the magnificent Armado.A letter from the magnificent Armado.BIRON How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.However bad the matter is, I hope to God for good words.LONGAVILLE A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!BIRON To hear? or forbear laughing?To hear the letter? or to keep from laughing?LONGAVILLE To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or toTo hear submissively, sir, and to laugh in moderation; or toforbear both.Do neither.BIRON Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause toWell, sir, hopefully the manner of it will give us cause toclimb in the merriness.Be more cheerful.COSTARD The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.The matter is about me sir, concerning Jaquenetta,The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.The manner of it is that I was taken with the manner.BIRON In what manner?In what manner?COSTARD In manner and form following, sir; all those three:In manner and form following, sir; all those three:I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting withI was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting withher upon the form, and taken following her into theHer on the frame, and taken when I was following her into thepark; which, put together, is in manner and formpark; which put together is in the manner and formfollowing. Now, sir, for the manner,--it is thefollowing. Now, sir, for the manner,-- it is themanner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,--nature of a man to speak to a woman: now for the form,--in some form.In some form.BIRON For the following, sir?And what about the following?COSTARD As it shall follow in my correction: and God defendIt will follow that I will be corrected: and God defendthe right!The right!FERDINAND Will you hear this letter with attention?Will you hear this letter with consideration?BIRON As we would hear an oracle.Like we would hear an oracle.COSTARD Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.Such is the simplicity of a man following his desires of the flesh.FERDINAND [Reads] 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and[Reads] ‘Great deputy, Heaven’s agent andsole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,sole dominator of Navarre, the god of my soul’s earth,and body's fostering patron.'And the one who guards and fosters my body.’COSTARD Not a word of Costard yet.He hasn’t even mentioned me yet.FERDINAND [Reads] 'So it is,'--[Reads] 'So it is,'--COSTARD It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, inIt may be so: but if he says it’s so, then he is,telling true, but so.Truly, only so.FERDINAND Peace!Peace!COSTARD Be to me and every man that dares not fight!Peace to me and every man that doesn’t dare fight!FERDINAND No words!I mean no more words! 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