NINJA BORG! The game that inspired Johan Nohr to threaten legal action! NINJA BORG! The game Brian Yaksha declared to be "John Waters on an ether frolic." NINJA BORG delivers the most awesome experience in RPG history: the ninja experience. But not just any ninja experience. It’s a ninja experience inspired by and built on early 2000s memes and ’80s action movies—intentionally foregoing any pretense of historical reference or “accuracy” whatsoever. In short, the authentic ninja experience. Does this get you FREAKIN' PUMPED? Then you need NINJA BORG—the greatest RPG about ninjas and therefore the most badass RPG to ever exist. This is not your Swedish Grandpa’s Borg. NINJA BORG utilizes a completely new ruleset, the Real Fuckin' Simple System (RFSS). So this is not published under the MÖRK BORG Third Party License, but the NINJA BORG First-Party License of Awesome! Don't let that scare you; it'll still feel familiar! Our shit is so easy, and our handy conversion guide makes all your existing BORG stuff totally usable with NINJA BORG! WHAT'S INSIDE? Quick and easy rules for creating and playing your ninja so you can immediately start stabbing and chopping heads More d20 tables than you could shake a ninja sword at for stuff like... Badass ninja weapons like swords, laser bo staffs, and tigers Sweet ninja swag like smoke bombs, motorcycles, and taco platters Mystical ninja powers that let you fly, make your enemies crap their pants, and summon swarms of ghost ninjas Even more tables for Ninja names—over 2 billion of them, as a matter of fact Ninja backstories—more than 94 trillion possibilities, because every ninja is unique like a snowflake Ninja catchphrases so you'll never be at a loss for a witty one-liner right before you rip someone's heart out through their face Ninja missions with over 100 septillion (1.66433875034112e+26) potential missions, ensuring no ninja will ever be bored Douchebag enemies like... bears mullet cowboys Space Dracula Awesome allies like... hot babes hippos T-rexes A conversion guide so you can make all your Borg content even better by playing as ninjas A boner-popping introductory mission (ninjas go on missions, never adventures): O Ninja! My Ninja! Destroy All Ninjas: All-Out-Attack Ninja Termination Apocalypse of Final Ninja Doom This is not the game to find crunch. It is the game to make beer squirt out of your friends’ noses for three hours from laughing too hard. And by beer, we mean Everclear. Requires a Motherfuckin' Ninja Master (GM) and any number of ninjas (players), but around three or four works best. DISCLAIMER: NINJA BORG makes frequent references to hot babes and boners. Hot babes can be male, female, enby, cis, queer, ace, or any other gender and sexuality. A hot babe is anyone who makes you flip out and kick Shakespeare in the face. A ninja's biggest erogenous zone is the mind, after all. Likewise, anyone can pop a boner (or more than one, even). It can be riding a T. rex, ramping Jay Leno's Ferrari over a DUI roadblock, or cannonballing off a thousand-foot waterfall into a hot tub full of rose petals. It’s not something exclusive to people with penises. So, in short, true ninjas accept and welcome everyone and acknowledge that their boners are just as valid as anyone else's. What really counts is how hard we combine our boners' power to wail on our guitars against hatred and fascism. And pirates.Underneath it all it's an antifascist, anticapitalist love letter to goofy ninja movies of yore. Flip-out, wail on your guitar, and chop like twenty-five or twenty-six heads off. Written, illustrated, and designed by Walton Wood and Rugose Kohn “Standards” & Practices Editor Brian Yaksha Editor Ashley KronebuschContains: toilet humor, boners, drug references, and killing Nazis.
