The VIP Certified Asshole Gold Card

Assaholics Anonymous Verified independent store

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Get this First With Free Shipping! Makes Anyone Funny With Just 5 Words: "Do You Take This Card?" The Ultimate VIP Gold Card: Guaranteed to Make the World Laugh WITH You! Made in A merica, this is the original product I would hand to wait staff or cashiers and then wait for them to read it and try to figure out how to run it. Some of the biggest damn smiles I've ever seen. (The wife video'd some of the reactions so you can see what I mean.) Crafted from solid metal, this card is Ford freaking tough, boasting a lustrous gold finish with sleek black etched lettering. It comes with a plastic sleeve to preserve its pristine allure for you. It's just cool AF. Bestowed by the Minister of Assholery, this majestic accessory exudes sophistication with a touch of cheekiness, elevating you to a whole new level of class. Whip it out at the club, gym, restaurant, or even a job interview (😁), and let the world watch as you steal the spotlight and elicit smiles wherever you go. And per the Minister of Assholery's First Decree, you get our lightning-fast shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee! So get one now, right? Show more