As an Indigenous woman, artist and educator I often feel that I walk in two worlds. The reason I use this analogy is that it sums up the feeling of being pulled in different directions by my culture and the settlers society. One being embedded in and giving priority to relationship and nature and the other being embedded in and giving priority to materialism and rationalism. For most Indigenous people operating in two world’s is something that we have grown accustomed to doing. We understand that both worlds overlap, however, never balance. We often feel that we are in a constant battle going back and forth trying to figure out where we fit in. Walking in two worlds is challenging, the fear or loneliness and isolation is a real. The loss of identity and connection is heartbreaking.I have to constantly prove that I am Indigenous enough (mostly by displaying my Status card- another colonial concept). I’ve had to prove to others that I had a right to be here. I started to experience racism within the “white world”. I would share that I was Indigenous or I would share some cultural teaching, and I would be met with questions about the color of my skin and words such as “White Indian” or “ White Passing”. I am aware that the color of my skin bestowed upon me is a privilege, but their comments made me feel like a liar and I was taking advantage of the system I was walking in two worlds and conflicted about how I fit into either one of them. These are the affects of Assimilation of our people. It is the trauma we carry. I began researching and questioning the process of walking the two worlds. I’ve come to several conclusions. For me, walking in two worlds means you never leave your culture behind. It is in everything you do. It is how you are connected to the land and your ancestors. It is the capacity to be holistic and know the interconnectedness of all things. It is woven right into the essence of who you are. It is how you walk the 7 truths. Each step I take, I take in Love, Humility, Respect, honesty, Wisdom, Courage and truth. This knowledge is what I carry with me in order to walk both worlds. It’s what helps keep me balanced. This artwork reflects that change, a change that is slowly taking place. I don’t have one moccasin in the “Indigenous” world and on in the “White” world. For me, both are firm in my roots of Indigenous Identity, who I am today, where I come from and how I continue to walk forward learning my culture. My ancestors did not have a voice, it was taken from them. Today I am their voice. This artwork is an opportunity to have open conversations, an opportunity to get to know one another. To discuss the struggles we face, to educate others that the color of our skin doesn’t determine who we are and nobody can tell us that we are not Indigenous because of it. This artwork was created because I spoke to so many beautiful Kwe’s and two spirit people who shared their struggles. I wanted to create something where you are able to see the beauty of it, but also see your own self and experiences reflected back at you. For me that is part of our healing because we are walking this road together and moments of listening and sharing become so important. Thank you to Ontario Council of Arts for funding this project. It was truly healing for me. I am grateful to be able to express my feelings and stories through my paintings.
